A Collection of Signs Written in "English" from Around the World

In a Bucharest hotel lobby:

The elevator is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:

     Please not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

 
On the menu of a Polish hotel:

Salad a firm's own make; red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; and roasted duck let loose.

At a Bangkok dry cleaners:

Drop your trousers here for best results.

In a Rome laundry:

Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

At a Budapest zoo:

Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

At the office of a Rome doctor:

Specialist in women and other diseases.
 

At a shop in Spain:

English well talking. Here speeching American.

(Reminds me of this moment in the movie Casablanca: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Th0G8rkhBqg)

From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:

When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage, then tootle him with vigor.

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:

We take your bags and send them in all directions.