And on the ninth day of the ninth month in the ninth year, the CEO went unto Human Resources and spake: "Let 200 people go!" And behold, a great pestilence descended upon the tech-writers, and they were sore afraid. (ExitUs)

Lexicon for a Layoff

Adrift:

A RIF with no apparent focus; a RIF by random selection

Continental drift:

A RIF that includes a complimentary breakfast

Honorific:

Feigned respect, as in "I'll take that badge now, ma'am."

Horrific:

A gruesome, bloodletting RIF

Orifice:

The place you're told you've been RIF'd; a repository for cardboard boxes.

Rif van Winkle:

One who returns from vacation to find himself RIF'd

Riff:

A short, rhythmic phrase chanted by employees on R-Day, as in "RIFF! RIFF! RIFF!"

Riffraff:

Debris left in the office of the RIF'd

Serif:

An elegant RIF; a RIF with class, usually requiring coat and tails.

Sans serif:

An inelegant RIF; a gauche RIF with no class (shorts and t-shirt)

Tariff:

A tax levied by Human Resources on cardboard boxes

Terrific:

A RIF you survive

Thrift:

A RIF whose severance package is chintzier than the preceding one.

Whiff:

Known in academic circles as "SBD," this is a quiet RIF without fanfare.