English 2204 / Summer 2008
Samples for the Creative Rewrite Assignment
Option #1: Re-Imagining the Story
I wonder what might happen if Nathaniel Hawthorne had decided to use third-person omniscient narration for "Young Goodman Brown" instead of the third-person limited-omniscient narration (limited to Brown) that he did use. I'm especially curious about what would have been revealed if we were able to see into the mind of Faith as well as into the mind of Brown.
For example, in the first scene of the story, as Young Goodman Brown is setting forth on his "journey" for some "present evil purpose" (348), we only see Brown's thoughts, yet we are not given any clue about what the "errand" or the "present evil purpose" is -- even though he probably has a pretty good idea of what he's setting out to do. Is it about the actual witches' meeting in the woods, the communion of new witches, as we find out later in the story, or does he set forth with another intent in mind, such as burning a barn, or stealing a horse, or kidnapping and interrogating someone in the community who has been suspected of wrong-doing. Or is it only that he is meeting someone that his wife or other community members might not approve of?
If the narration were third-person omniscient, the narrator could have taken us into Faith's thoughts as she watched Brown walk away. We might find out what her "such dreams" are and/or why she is "troubled" by them (348). Has she had a premonition dream? If so, about what? Or, is it just a woman's intuition? But even then, women's intuitions, in my experience, are often to be trusted, so I would like to see her, or the narrator, try to put into words what exactly is troubling her. Even guesses on her part about what her husband might be doing that night would be revealing. For example, since they've only been married three months, maybe she might be feeling that he's meeting up with an old flame. Or, maybe she suspects that he has something to hide and that three months of marriage isn't long enough yet to trust her with it. Anything, even these speculations, would be revealing to the reader, giving us more insight into her character, making her rounder instead of flatter, and giving us something to go by as we follow the story along.
Notes:
I would continue like this until I had written at least 2-3 pages.
Obviously, I could not do the whole story like this, so maybe I would choose just 1-2 more key scenes and speculate, theorize, hypothesize about what might happen to the story -- and, maybe more importantly, to our reading of the story -- if we were able to see into Faith's thoughts.
Option #2: Re-Writing the Story
I headed out, at sunset, into the street of Salem village, but I stopped and turned around, after crossing the threshold of my house, to exchange a parting kiss with my young wife. She has somewhat of an interesting name, she's named Faith, and after the kiss she thrust her own pretty head through the door, letting the wind play with the pink ribbons in her hair and called to me.
"Dearest heart," she whispered softly and rather sadly, with her lips close to my ear, "please, put off your journey until sunrise, and sleep in your own bed tonight. A lone woman is troubled with such dreams and such thoughts, that she's afraid of herself, sometimes. Please, stay with me this night, dear love, of all nights in the year!"
"My love and my Faith," replied I, "of all nights of the year, this one night I must stay away from thee. My journey, as you call it, forth and back again, must absolutely be done between now and sunrise. What, my sweet, pretty wife, do you doubt me already, and we haven't even been married for three months!"
"Then, God bless you!" said Faith, with the pink ribbons, "and may you find all well, when you come back."
"Amen!" cried I. "Say your prayers, dear Faith, and go to bed at dusk, and no harm will come to thee."
So we parted; and I went on my way, until, being about to turn the corner by the meeting-house, I looked back, and saw the head of Faith still peeping after me, with a melancholy air, in spite of her pink ribbons.
"Poor little Faith!" thought I, and my heart was heavy. "What a wretch am I, to leave her on such an errand! She talks of dreams, too. I thought, as she spoke, there was trouble in her face, as if a dream had warned her what work is to be done to-night. But, no, no! It would kill her to think of it. Well; she's a blessed angel on earth; and after this one night, I'll cling to her skirts and follow her to heaven."
With this excellent resolve for the future, I felt myself justified in making more haste to my present evil purpose. I had taken a dreary road, darkened by all the gloomiest trees of the forest, which barely stood aside to let the narrow path creep through, and closed immediately behind. It was all as lonely as could be; and there is this peculiarity in such a solitude, that the traveler knows not who may be concealed by the innumerable trunks and the think boughs overhead; sot hat, with lonely footsteps, he may yet be passing through an unseen multitude.
Notes:
I would continue like this until I had written at least 2-3 pages.
My goals would be to switch the story into first person and to "update" the language a bit.
After about 2 or 2.5 pages, I might switch to a paragraph of summary to explain what I would change for the rest of the story, IF I were to continue the rewrite.
I stuck pretty close to the original story and language, BUT, I could have been much more daring. I could have been more creative, perhaps even introducing "my" thoughts about the evening's evil purpose -- making it much clearer than Hawthorne did. For example, I'm off to help some of my fellow villagers terrorize another villager suspected of some wrong-doing; perhaps he has been stealing from a neighbor's barn or field.
Option #3: A Combination of #1 and #2
I could begin with option #2 to give my readers a sense of what the changed story would be like. Then, after about 1.5 or 2.0 pages, I would switch to option #1 to explain what I did and why I did it, what I was hoping to accomplish and perhaps how the rest of the story might play out and how the story would be changed by the revision -- or how (and why) the reading experience would be different with the changes.