My Responses to Essay #2

1.) D.A.R.K. = "Don't Assume the Reader Knows"

• Your professor can probably figure it out, but that's not his/her job -- it's your job. You are writing to show your professor what you know, to demonstrate critical thinking, to demonstrate mastery of the material and the skills covered in class.

Possible Comments on Your Manuscripts:

• "Do more here" -- or -- "Say more about this" -- offer more analysis / explanation -- asking more about "how" and "why" -- not being satisfied with the first or most obvious answer that comes to mind -- speculating, hypothesizing, offering more than one possibility.

• "Never end a paragraph with a quote" -- or -- "End the paragraph on your own" -- perhaps by commenting on the quotation, offering more analysis, and/or returning to your main idea

• "Introduce all quotations" -- readers need to be prepared for a quotation, more so than for summarized or paraphrased information -- and the introduction should let us know the source (and maybe even the credentials) of the quotation -- a "context" for the quotation needs to be established.

• "Comment on this quote before moving on" -- as I've already said, what is obvious or important to you, might not be so to your reader -- and, readers might interpret quotations differently than you, or differently than you might want them to, so it is your job to "drive home" the point you want to make before continuing.

Perhaps ask yourself these questions for developing paragraphs more completely:

• "Why should my reader care about this?"

• "So what?"

• "How is this information helpful, significant, important, etc. ... to my reader?"

• "What does this say about _____ as a person?"

• "What does this say about _____ as a writer?"

• "Why would s/he do this? What were they attempting to do?"

• "What effect does this have on readers?"

2.) Follow directions!

• I did NOT ask for previous drafts of this paper -- I only asked for the FINAL draft.

• I asked that the final draft NOT be stapled.

• I asked that ALL CITED SOURCES be included in the portfolio.

• The assignment stated that you CONSULT at least 6 sources and that you CITE at least 3 of those sources in your paper -- e.g., through summary, paraphrase, and/or quotation. Thus, the Works Cited and Consulted page should have listed at least 6 sources.

• The last 2 above factored into the grade -- for example, they definitely lowered any "borderline" grades.

3.) Present your portfolio professionally

• Staple all pages of one source together -- in order that the pages appear in the source.

• Present sources in order of the Works Cited and Consulted page.

• Avoid smashing a bunch of papers into the portfolio -- some pages looked like they had gone through a rainstorm or had been walked on.

4.) Be aware of clear vs. awkward sentences and phrasings

Examples:

A.) In White's essay, he shows a strong sense of family.

B.) In his essay, White shows a strong sense of family.

5.) Other important notes

• Don't feel so tied to the "five-paragraph" essay! It will do the job some times, but not always.

• As I've probably already said, it's about quality, not quantity.

• Print single-sided for a final draft.

• Avoid "informal" style and use of slang / jargon in final drafts.

6.) Your questions?

• The only way you will improve your writing is by learning from your writing.

• Take time to carefully study and think about all my comments -- and it will take time, because my comments cover all "layers" of your essay -- GLOBAL things like structure and focus, LOCAL things like paragraph development and source integration, and MICRO things like commas and run-ons and citations.

• See me during office hours if you have any questions about my comments -- or if you can't read or understand my comments.

• I probably will NOT be commenting so extensively on Essays 3 and 4, so take advantage now of the extensive comments. That said, you can always stop by during office hours with SPECIFIC questions about a paper.