Summary-Response Essay -- Quotation Examples

Example #1 -- Rough Draft:

Carter also mentions that some people had been very honest to avoid responsibility.  I can relate to this also.  I was not the most honest with my father in my early teen years. . . .

Revised (includes parenthetical citation):

Carter also mentions that some people had been very honest to avoid responsibility (325).  I can relate to this also.  I was not the most honest with my father in my early teen years. . . .

Example #2 -- Rough Draft:

As a result, gossip creates unwanted names for people.  I have not lived in the kinds of situations as Kathleen did however I went to high school.  My high school experience has given me both the good and bad sides of gossip.  Kathleen Norris states one good quality of gossip is it gives a way for small town people to create solidarity.  People build close relationships by telling each other about past experiences and share their feelings. . . .

Revised (includes parenthetical citation):

As a result, gossip creates unwanted names for people.  I have not lived in the kinds of situations as Norris did; however, I went to high school.  My high school experience has given me both the good and bad sides of gossip.  Kathleen Norris states one good quality of gossip is it gives a way for small town people to create solidarity (464).  People build close relationships by telling each other about past experiences and share their feelings. . . .

Example #3 -- Rough Draft:

I agree with Kathleen Norris when she says in her essay, The Holy Use of Gossip, that gossip can bring a sense of identity in a small "community," because everyone was talking about Jon and me for the rest of the day.

Revised (fixes what should be quoted):

I agree with Kathleen Norris when she says in her essay, "The Holy Use of Gossip," that gossip can bring a "sense of identity" in a small community (463), because everyone was talking about Jon and me for the rest of the day. . . .

Example #4 -- Rough Draft:

Something she states that contradicts my question is that "Gossip is theology translated into experience," (pg 464).

Revised:

Something she states that contradicts my question is that "gossip is theology translated into experience" (Norris 464).

Example #5 -- Rough Draft:

I first handedly know about "fake honesty." (322)

Revised:

I know first-handedly about "fake honesty" (322).

Revised:

I have firsthand knowledge of "fake honesty" (322).

Example #6 -- Rough Draft:

I do agree with Stephen L. Carter in his essay.  People in our society have no idea how to balance integrity and honesty.  Carter states; "integrity is like the weather: everyone talks about it but nobody knows what to do about it."  (321)  I think that this is true more than ever.

Revised:

Carter states, "Integrity is like the weather: everybody talks about it but nobody knows what to do about it" (321).

Revised:

Carter states that "integrity is like the weather: everybody talks about it but nobody knows what to do about it" (321).

Example #7 -- Rough Draft:

The second point that I agree with Sante on is when he said that, "There is a deep human need for secrets that transcends all rational explanations." (513)  Secrets make you feel like you fit into this huge world of ours because . . . .

Revised:

The second point that I agree with Sante on is when he said that "there is a deep human need for secrets that transcends all rational explanations" (513).  Secrets make you feel like you fit into this huge world of ours because . . . .

Revised:

The second point that I agree with Sante on is when he said, "There is a deep human need for secrets that transcends all rational explanations" (513).  Secrets make you feel like you fit into this huge world of ours because . . . .

Example #8 -- Rough Draft:

Carter states that integrity "requires three steps: discerning what is right and what is wrong;" The second one describes "integrity as steadfast, a quality that includes ones commitments."  "The third reminds us that a person of integrity can be trusted." (322)

Revised:

Carter states that integrity "requires three steps: [the first one is] discerning what is right and what is wrong [ . . . ] The second brings in the ideal of a person of integrity as steadfast, a quality that includes one's commitments.  The third reminds us that a person of integrity can be trusted" (322).

Revised:

Carter states that integrity "requires three steps: [the first one is] discerning what is right and what is wrong."  The second one describes "integrity as steadfast, a quality that includes one's commitments.  The third reminds us that a person of integrity can be trusted" (322).

Example #9 -- Rough Draft:

In life people don't usually think of the need for secrets, they are just something that are always there.  In his essay, What Secrets Tell, Luc Sante states, "There is a deep human need for secrets that transcends all rational explanation . . . The Public hunger for the secret is primordial." (513 & 511)  I agree with Sante that we have a basic need for secrets.  Also many of Sante's other ideas can be related to life in general.

Revised:

In life people don't usually think of the need for secrets, they are just something that are always there.  In his essay, "What Secrets Tell," Luc Sante states, "There is a deep human need for secrets that transcends all rational explanations" (513); in addition, he states, "The public hunger for secrets is primordial" (511).  I agree with Sante that we have a basic need for secrets.  Also many of Sante's other ideas can be related to life in general.

Revised:

In life people don't usually think of the need for secrets, they are just something that are always there.  Toward the end of his essay, "What Secrets Tell," Luc Sante states, "There is a deep human need for secrets that transcends all rational explanations" (513); earlier in his essay, he states, "The public hunger for secrets is primordial" (511).  I agree with Sante that we have a basic need for secrets.  Also many of Sante's other ideas can be related to life in general.

Example #10 -- Rough Draft:

Personally I believe that our need for secrets stems from the fact that if you have a secret you are in control and you have power, just as Sante writes in his essay, "The possession of a secret concerning another is, like all forms of power." (510)  For example, in my life, being a little sister, . . . .

Revised:

Personally I believe that our need for secrets stems from the fact that if you have a secret you are in control and you have power, just as Sante writes in his essay, "The possession of a secret concerning another is, like all forms of power, something of a burden" (510).  For example, in my life, being a little sister, . . . .

Revised:

Personally I believe that our need for secrets stems from the fact that if you have a secret you are in control and you have power, just as Sante writes in his essay, "The possession of a secret concerning another is [ . . . a form] of power" (510).  For example, in my life, being a little sister, . . . .

Example #11 -- Rough Draft:

The reason I think that is the strongest point in her article supporting the statement she made about "At its deepest level, small-town gossip is about how we face matters of life and death," (pg 465), is because I can relate to it.

Revised:

The reason I think the statement she made, "At its deepest level, small-town gossip is about how we face matters of life and death" (465), is the strongest point in her article is because I can relate to it.

Revised:

The reason I think that is the strongest point in her article is because I can relate to it, which supports the statement she made: "At its deepest level, small-town gossip is about how we face matters of life and death" (465).

Original Passage (462):

If you look up gossip in the Oxford English Dictionary you find that it is derived from the words for God and sibling, and originally meant "akin to God."  It was used to describe one who has contracted spiritual kinship by acting as a sponsor at baptism; one who helps "give a name to."

Example #12 -- Rough Draft (from the stand-alone summary paragraph):

In the essay "The Holy Use of Gossip" by Kathleen Norris, she references the meaning of gossip to the Oxford dictionary as derived from the words for God and sibling but originally meaning "akin to God".  The whole world is fueled by gossip . . .

Revised:

In the essay, "The Holy Use of Gossip," by Kathleen Norris, she references the meaning of gossip to the Oxford English Dictionary as having its root in the words "God and sibling" but it first meant "'akin to God.'"  The whole world is fueled by gossip . . .