Writer's Name
Professor's Name
ENGL 0950-0x
Date

First Essay

I am a first generation college student; my parents did not attend college or graduate from high school.  I really didn’t graduate high school either; I left school when I was fifteen, two months into my sophomore year.  I went to an alternative learning center to test for GED a few years after my son was born.  This was the first of many steps needed in order to achieve my goals, both personally and academically.  I come from an uneducated background of modest income; I’m a single parent beginning in my teenage years and have a seasoned work history.  Many will misconstrue my experience and view it as a beginning of failure, someone with an earning potential just above poverty level.  In retrospect, the stigma attached to my reality has worked to my advantage tremendously.

The most essential advantage above some students is my determination.  Determination to be somebody who contributes in society, not just be a statistic.  This the most challenging obstacle to rise above.  Being described as someone who can not make it on her own and will be dependent upon others, or that I am not an intelligent person because of my background is not appealing.  Assumptions of the majority state that my only option in life, my only chance of survival, is to lead a parasitic existence, to rely on the generosity of others.  I do not comprehend how living vicariously through a significant other is living.  All these negative stigmas, for me, are the most motivating factors contributing to my success in college.

An academic support that contributes to my success in college with not stigma attached to it is the TRIO program.  This is a program that has been established to aid first generation college students in their academic career.  The advisors for the federal program are a remarkable help.  The advisors work directly with me, making sure I am doing well in my classes, getting involved on campus, and staying on the correct path.  They have an affinity for their work and the people they council, providing an open door.  The events TRIO involves its members in are also an important factor, especially for a non-traditional student, who otherwise may not have had an opportunity to participate.  An example would be visits to the theatre, awards dinners, and comedy clubs.  The events and support really help a non-traditional student blend in with academic culture.  Also the program introduces a variety of individuals with which one may not have otherwise been associated with.

Having much experience with individuals, in conjunction with a seasoned work history, has helped me decide what I do not want in life.  My extensive work history stems from the idea that I do not need an education; I need vocational skills to market, to make more money.  I began working at the age of twelve doing dishes at a small-time restaurant for cash, cleaning floors, and making dilly bars at a local Dairy Queen.  In the short term, these are great opportunities for a twelve- to fourteen-year-old, though not a life-long dream.  Mostly I have made a living by waitressing and doing construction work like tile setting and roofing.  Again, this was not a life-long dream of mine, nor are the hours conducive to a lifestyle of raising a family independently.  Working in these “customer is always right” environments, I usually received minimal pay and was often spoken to in a derogatory manner thus confirming that my opinion did not count…yet.  My viable qualities are easily replaceable, and being undermined is not a dream of mine or one I hold for my family.  By examining my work history, one could consider why I am so determined, perhaps relate.  Place yourself in an environment where need to ask permission to go to the restroom.  Say your child is ill and your superiors tell you, “too bad, we need you at work more than your child needs you home, and need to go in.”  I wanted to tell them, “too bade, I am staying home today.”  I needed to provide a warm bed and food for my family and couldn’t take the risk of losing my job.  Being “respected” as such, I was resentful of those who could actually afford to do what is important.  Transforming my resentment into zealous drive is the only ammunition I had available, also the most powerful.  I want to raise the expectation fo my family, principally for the benefit of my son.

My son, Alec, is eleven years old and in many ways wise beyond his years.  He has dreams of becoming a professional athlete in many sports.  Though I would like for his aspirations to materialize, they are of afar reach, and because of this I will not him to be a passive observer in his education.  I want him to “get in the game” and develop all his talents, by and large, academically.  This standard will only be implemented by fulfilling education, and raise the bar to make success not survival the protocol.

The need for a higher standard is evident in the case of my sister Chlo’e.  My sister is turning seventeen and entering twelfth grade at an alternative high school.  Last year she had plans of quitting school, seeking employment, and getting an apartment; to survive.  She feels it is time for her to be on her own.  I was on my own at her age and barely surviving with a child; she feels because doesn’t have someone else to look after that she can make it without a formal education.  As a big sister I am afraid I set a poor, thought nor irrevocable, example.  What I have attempted to do since the time I held temporary custody of her is exemplify an easier path to follow by explaining the rocky trail that I traveled.  To accomplish my responsibility as an individual, as a parent, and as a sister, I must further my education to reach my potential; in return I may help them reach their own.  For this responsibility, I am grateful to my family, most of all for helping me get in touch with my goals.

Alec and Chlo’e are more focused on their academics now, in comparison to earlier years.  This focus is much easier to uphold when video games and television time need to be earned through studying and completion of household duties.  They are gradually accepting these new expectations though I am sure they are growing tired of me being on a soap box about school and their future.

At the outset, my parents and grandparents were not in support of my return to school.  I didn’t “look” smart or make “informed decisions,” so they felt I should focus on pleasing others, not myself.  They only had an expectation that I would find someone well established to mooch off of, I mean marry.  They think the same as many others thought.  They think I am stew-pid, and in reaching my highest potential I could become …a wife?  At present, they think as most others think of me, that I am a prospective success.  Only recently my family understands my zealous interest for education.

The first time I was energized about education was summer semester 2005 when I took my first psychology exam.  I answered forty-nine our of fifty correct.  Finally, tangible proof that I may not need to rely on others, that I am not just a statistic, that I am not stupid.  This score intrinsically motivated me to apply myself in all facets of life and helps me understand I can reach my desired potential.  Looking back, I only needed to set a higher standard for myself.  A test score may be trivial to some, but to me it was the first indication that I can achieve my goals, and live a fulfilling life.

My goal, what I am determined to achieve is my PhD in psychology.  Philosophy and psychology have always interested me a great deal, more specifically, forensic psychology; I would like to explore criminal profiling, research and make inquiries on behavior, as well as work within the legal system.  Jurisprudence in conjunction with psychology is an area under-researched and could potentially play a crucial role in investigations.  Presumably my abilities will benefit numerous people; also my opinion will be significant to others.  To some, this may sound idealistic; I have succeeded in this feat before, to me, this sounds probable.

Given my past experience I have a clear understanding that I am my vehicle to success and do not need to rely solely on others.  The obstacles and challenges provide the fuel for my journey.  Some may have allowed challenges to undermine one’s capability to rise above and succeed.  I am grateful for my determination, the TRIO program, social economic status, and also my family history.  The absence of my experiences may have led me on a less favorable road both in education and in life.

Word count: 1496