Writer's Name
Professor's Name
ENGL 0950-0x
Date
Conquering Myself
Many things have happened to me over the past few years that have changed my view and approach to college. But not one of those years would compare to the year that I have just had. You could say this year has been a revelation (so to speak) of who I am and who I want to be. These past few years combined have turned out to be a great learning experience for me. I have had to learn the hard way on a few occasions, but I think things worked out for the better. I have gone through some struggles, primarily within myself, but have had the help and support from family and friends.
I hit rock bottom this past year; I was having trouble maintaining a steady job and feeling like a contributing member of society. I was having trouble paying my bills and just having money in general. I continued to jump from job to job, just not finding what I was looking for, feeling lost. It wasn’t my ideal place to be in life. I was having the feeling that this wasn’t what I wanted for myself. I wanted to be challenged, use my mind. I wanted more than just a job. I began to realize that I would never achieve the things I dreamed of working at a factory or warehouse.
My dreams and aspirations of inventing something unique, which could improve the lives of people, always remained in the back of my mind. I had thought about exploring a field where inventing and/or designing things are a possibility. The fields of engineering or design are both areas that interested me. Those are careers which have the possibilities I’d been dreaming of. They are careers where you use your mind and are mentally challenged. These fields are definitely within my reach, and both are things I think I would enjoy and excel at. Why I didn’t go after those dreams was something I needed to figure out. I needed to really do some deep thinking about what I really wanted out of life. Why haven’t I pursued something I am sure I can accomplish?
I needed to really take a look at what may be hindering me, what was stopping me. What were my road blocks? I came up with only one thing that could be in the way of me reaching my final destination: myself! I had been my biggest road block; I was the reason I hadn’t pursued my dreams and desires. I needed to find out why I had inhibited myself all these years, what made me have those feelings and why. I needed to look deep within myself and ask those questions. Once I did, I realized a few things. I had been scared to apply myself all of these years, scared that I would fail. I had the fear of the unknown and maybe the fear of losing what I already did know. It also could be the fear of not knowing what to do or how to do it, being unsure of myself and doubting my capabilities. I needed to figure out where these fears were coming from, and why I had them.
I took the time to sit down with a counselor (not a school guidance counselor) to help me figure out why I had these thoughts and feelings. By just talking to him about myself and my fears, he greatly helped me to understand things about myself. After learning a few important things, I took a really had look at myself; I thought about a lot of things and realized that he was right; I really have nothing to fear. I discovered I can achieve anything I put my mind to. After gaining the confidence and courage I needed, I had just a few more questions to ask myself. How will I pay for my schooling and how much will it cost me? Little did I know those questions would soon be answered. With the new skills I had developed, I have learned to look back at things I have experienced through my life and not wallow in them, but to use them. Use those experiences to make me stronger, smarter, and more confident in my life.
So far through my journey to college I have had nothing but support and encouragement from family and friends. My parents had urged me to attend college in the past, but I never really considered it. At the time, it just wasn’t for me. So when I finally told them I wanted to some research and check things out at Anoka-Ramsey Community College they were more than supportive. They were more than happy to come with me and help me through the process of enrolling. I received help with finding out about financial aid, and how to fill out the proper forms to start my education. It was so easy, I thought to myself, why didn’t I do this sooner? They are so proud of me that I am trying to educate myself and find a career that fits. They are willing to help me in any way, be it financially or whatever else I may need during my duration. I am so grateful for them and love them to death. My friends also have given me nothing but compliments. They are also glad that I’m finally doing what I need to do, and that I’m getting my life in order.
The government has also helped me out greatly. I received government grants that totaled enough to pay for all of my schooling. I also had enough money left over for all of my books too. In fact, even after paying for all of that, there is still money left over to help me with other academic expenses. It’s as if I’m actually getting paid to educate myself. I have also received help from program called TRIO located here at ARCC. It is a program for first generation college students. They help you with school support and guidance; each student involved is assigned an advisor with whom we meet three times a semester. We meet just to update them and let them know how we are doing and if there is anything they can do to help. The program also offers a few tuition-free courses. I am currently taking an English class that is tuition-free for me through the program. Programs like this make college more affordable and provide more opportunities to students who qualify.
With all things that have gone on this year both good and bad, I wouldn’t change one single thing. If certain things hadn’t happened, I may never have reached my destination: college. I am so happy I’m finally doing something for myself that can result in my dreams coming true. One major thing that I have come to realize is that I have never failed anything I pt 100% effort into. With my past and present knowledge, knowing that as long as I stay positive, have drive, remain enthusiastic, and put 100% effort into my schooling, I will not fail. I will succeed!
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